The Real Slim Shady

The Real Slim Shady

When I listened to the track, I immediatly loved the melody and the mad beats. But when I saw the video, I got hooked. « The Real Slim Shady » is my favorite song from the Marshall Mathers Lp. I enjoy listening to it so much. The wordplays and jokes of the song make me laugh from the beginning to the end. I guess « The Real Slim Shady » is the most controversial song from the Marshall Mathers LP. So much controversial that it cost 7500 $ to a Colorado radio station for playing an uncensored version of the song. In France, this would never have happened, because most of the French citizens don’t have a sufficient level in English to fully understand Eminem’s lyrics. Even underage kids can buy an uncensored version of Eminem’s album without experiencing any problem. That’s also why real Eminem fans ( I mean people who are able to get his lyrics and his sense of humor) are rare in France.
The song begins in a funny way :

« May I have your attention, please ? »

Eminem is well known for his ability to attract the public’s attention. His originality and talent are undeniable. « The Real Slim Shady » contrasts with « Stan » that is a tragic and serious subject matter. It has been created to make people laugh-if they got a sense of humor, of course !
« The Real Slim Shady » is a retaliation against all the people who were driving Eminem mad for different reasons : people who are focused on his skin color, pop stars like Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears, Will Smith (one of the worst things that happened to rap in my opinion) who criticized him for using cusswords and demeaning words to women. Will Smith also dared stating on MTV that since Tupac and Biggie’s death gangsta rap was « almost dead » or something similar.
Eminem’s enemies get dissed in a funny way and look ridiculous. It is a proven fact that it is too bad to be on Eminem’s ennemy list.
Although « The Real Slim Shady » has been written to make people laugh, it also focuses on subjects that should be debated like some inhibitions. Why should we act in a hypocritical way with our kids and hide subjects like intercourse as if they didn’t exist ? Having already expressed on the subject, I am deeply convinced that our education forces us to act in a hypocritical way. So many subject matters that belong to reality shouldn’t be so hidden and so taboo.
Kids who are curious by nature will discover them sooner or later anyway.

I guess some people will also picture Eminem as a violent murderer and misogynist (Lynn Cheney is a typical example of such kind of stupidity), should have a look at this line :

« And Dr. Dre said… nothing you idiots!
Dr.Dre’s dead, he’s locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!) »

Only brainless people could take this statement seriously. If you belong to this category, there is a tremendous need for you to chill out.

Mrs Cheney, this is giving you food for thought : if Eminem is to take at first degree, then you probably understood that he killed his producer. Oh, that’s too bad for you, Dr Dre is still alive! You will probably never get Slim Shady, he far too subtle for you and he enjoys mocking you and the feminist activists alltogether :

« « Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} “Slim Shady, I’m sick of him
Look at him, walkin’ around grabbin’ his you-know-what
Flippin’ the you-know-who,” “Yeah, but he’s so cute though!” »

« Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can’t
But it’s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
“My bum is on ya lips, my bum is on ya lips” »

The Tom Green Show parody makes the song hilarious. Have you ever watched « The Tom Green Show ? ». I have and I spent the whole evening laughing. Tom Green likes putting people in embarassing situations, like offering them a « chest sandwitch » for instance…

But there’s an important part of the song that we shouldn’t miss in any case. Eminem points out that he has the courage of his opinions. No need to be fake or sugarcoated at all. He says what he has to say and that also explains why kids love him. Kids are fed up, tired of being lied to.
They’re in search of truth and authenticity. You may strongly disagree with Slim Shady, but at least admit his honesty when he speaks out :

“I’m like a head trip to listen to, cause I’m only givin’ you
Things you joke about wit ya friends inside your livin’ room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y’all and I don’t gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shittin’
Betta than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums…”

Eminem also brings us back to our own « evil side ». Whether we like to admit it or not, « there’s a Slim Shady in all of us ». So let’s all stand up !

Lyrics The Real Slim Shady

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We’re gonna have a problem here..

Y’all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin’ her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin’ her over furniture (Ahh!)
It’s the return of the… “Ah, wait, no way, you’re kidding,
He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?”
And Dr. Dre said… nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre’s dead, he’s locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} “Slim Shady, I’m sick of him
Look at him, walkin’ around grabbin’ his you-know-what
Flippin’ the you-know-who,” “Yeah, but he’s so cute though!”
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what’s goin’ on in your parents’ bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can’t
But it’s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
“My bum is on ya lips, my bum is on ya lips”
And if I’m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman’s clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don’t they?
“We ain’t nothin’ but mammals..” Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t elope
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave ya pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus(2x):

I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can’t even stomach me, let alone stand me
“But Slim, what if you win, wouldn’t it be weird?”
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear ’em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me with this bastard on MTV
“Yeah, he’s cute, but I think he’s married to Kim, hee-hee!”
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!*}
I’m sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there’s a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Chorus

I’m like a head trip to listen to, cause I’m only givin’ you
Things you joke about wit ya friends inside your livin’ room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y’all and I don’t gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shittin’
Betta than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It’s funny; cause at the rate I’m goin’ when I’m thirty
I’ll be the only person in the nursin’ home flirting
Pinchin’ nurses asses when I’m jackin’ off with Jergens
And I’m jerkin’ but this whole bag of Viagra isn’t workin’
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin’
He could be workin’ at Burger King, spittin’ on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin’ lot, circlin’
Screamin’, “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!”
Wit his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus (2x)

Ha ha
Guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let’s all stand up