I managed to miss this earlier, but here is the transcript. You can watch it on video too if you click the video link.
Bill O'Reilly versus Michael Moore
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I managed to miss this earlier, but here is the transcript. You can watch it on video too if you click the video link.
by
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3 responses to “Bill O'Reilly versus Michael Moore”
MM chew him up and spat him out.
When Bill can’t say “shut up” and switch off his interviewee’s mic, he’s pretty hopeless. Same for all bullies.
Didn’t think he did particularly well, to be honest. Moore often suffers when it comes to dealing with the minutae of an argument, and I felt he really needed to engage O’Reilly and score a few points.
Instead we get the same old Moore-o, swaggering his way through jingoistic cliche and facile emotive analogies. Why not challenge him more closely over the conduct of the Afghanistan war? Why not point to the fact that 40% of Americans now think foreign policy is a key issue at the Presidential elections (it was around 5% last time)? And, for christ’s sake, when O’Reilly kept asking Moore to concede that Bush had simply made a “mistake” over the WMD issue, point out that it’s a pretty bloody big mistake for a President to make, and shouldn’t he be thinking about heading back to the ranch ’bout now?
Recently saw 9/11 and wasn’t as upset with it as I thought I was going to be – usual complaints still there, but on the whole he made a good point well. But put him in front of a live camera with someone bit quicker than O’Reilly, and I think (like he came close to a couple of times in this interview) he might fold.
Dear Mr. Oreilly:
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say
in Texas, you couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions printed
on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer
than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Islets of
Langerhans.
You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a
weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a
revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly
with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into a hostile
world. You are an insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody,
abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then
died of shame in recognition of what they had done. They were a bit late.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species
as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very
thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you.
You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the
dregs of this earth. And did I mention that you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to
impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will
still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it ever so
much more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its
beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly
briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of
your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your
own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty
and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an ignoramus.
Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won’t have sex with you. You are
unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that
reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant. You have a couple of address
lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements
of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you
hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more
weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle,
waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a
loathsome disease, a puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. You make
Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You are the kind of person
who would remove this reference to Version 5.40 and to
http://www.guymacon.com/insult.txt so people will think that you wrote
this. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get
your dog to play with you. You think P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest
composer who ever lived. You prefer L. Ron Hubbard to Larry Niven and
Jerry Pournelle. Hee-Haw is too deep for you. You would watch test
patterns all day if the other inmates would let you.
On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient
in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You
are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of
all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You
grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish
foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless
crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You
craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey
poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted
fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are so clueless that if we stripped you naked, soaked you in clue
musk, and dropped you into a field full of horny clues, You still would
not have a clue. You couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions
printed on the heel.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise
everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the
stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are
trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that
even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid so dense that no intellect
can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid.
You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year.
Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can
really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the
original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so
uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that
we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.
After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have
enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked
comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away
most of what you wrote, because, well… it didn’t really say
anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I
mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of
babbling was hardly effective… Maybe later in life, after you have
learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.
True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal” people take
for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes
forget that there are “challenged” persons in this world who find these
things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I
would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been “right”. Sort
of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the
emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on
you.
P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly,
deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent,
opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted,
racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic,
insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine,
conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic,
spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb
evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative,
paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic,
diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive,
dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim,
unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive,
mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive,
socially-retarded, puerile, and Generally Not Good.